DIDN’T ANYONE TELL YOU?SELF-EMPOWERMENT, NOT ENSLAVEMENT, IS YOUR DESTINY.

Faking it begins in childhood when we quickly learn what earns us praise or punishment. We swallow our feelings and pretend. We become the best fakers in the saddest category because we don’t know any

better and are only trying to survive.

So much needless pain and suffering often accompany a break-up in a personal or professional relationship. Fear of the unknown blocks us from exploring our unlimited options. We won’t see the rainbow until we look up and beyond what is directly in front of us. Or we need to release what holds us prisoners of the past.

We can heal and begin to be true to ourselves anytime we decide. Think about it, we are not only the ailment, but also the cure. We let others decide our worth when we go into agreement with what authority figures have told us. It is we who give someone else the power to decide our worthiness. We can reclaim autonomy over our identity right now.

Every day is an opportunity to know and achieve our potential. We are meant to eliminate at the most basic levels of our anatomy: through bodily waste, through tears, and even when our skin sloughs off dead cells. Take this cue seriously from our biology; we do best when we eliminate what is not needed and not good for us.

When we know someone or something is not fulfilling, we cannot be authentically good for them either. We learn to tell ourselves we are good people because we give more than we receive. However, by not leaving, we deprive another person of the opportunity to create space for someone who is better suited to them also.

If we are not our best friend, who else can be? Each of us is with us until we take our last breath. After this, we enter the afterlife and see everything for what it was: learning to love. For reasons I cannot fully answer, I was born with many spiritual gifts beyond the physical realm. One of these treasures enables me to communicate with the departed. I mention this because their most common sentiment is regret. They regret what they did, didn’t do, or said. They regret the time that was wasted. They deeply regret not having loved themselves.

If we are stuck in thinking of leaving as making us quitters, there is a better perspective. Instead, when it is time to leave, we can do this: leave in strength. We are not relinquishing power or control, nor are we losers. We can depart knowing the situation is not beneficial and walk away with valuable insights. We made a choice based on what we knew at the time. Now we know better and must choose more wisely. Leaving empowered with knowledge and self-care is not a weakness; it is our graduation day when we allow ourselves to move on and further our growth.